I Have Not Forgotten

I Have Not Forgotten

She breathes her warm, milky breath into the underside of my right cheek. In the past few minutes, she has been busy nudging her head on my shoulder a few centimeters to the left and then to the right. And then she starts the search all over again. Normally, she would push my head aside … Continue reading

She Is Here

She Is Here

She is here. Routinely I smoothe her fine black hair that was already thick and long, suck on her chubby fingers that we used to see only in ultrasound pictures, kiss the bottom of her soft pink feet, and lift her tiny bum to my face. Still, these moments feel unreal. After we reaffirm for … Continue reading

Love Will Guide Me

Love Will Guide Me

On my nightstand is a book describing the benefits of giving baby massages. Supposedly, my gentle touches on her skin would be like tender words spoken into her ears. The cover is soft pink and gray, and the baby on it has bright blue eyes and a rosebud for lips. I also have a book … Continue reading

A Dose of Joy

A Dose of Joy

At my first surgery about 12 years ago, I informed my doctor and then, later, the anesthesiologist that I was afraid of anesthesia awareness.  (I had watched an old Oprah episode about this, where one of the guests described feeling the hot blade of a knife cutting into her abdomen during her surgery.)  The anesthesiologist … Continue reading

Today’s Plan

Today’s Plan

I’ve reorganized the nursery closet three times already in the last two months. This afternoon, I transferred the clothes from the right end back to the left end. I think it is better to keep the baby’s onesies, dresses, socks, and swaddle blankets on the left side of the closet and to reserve the right … Continue reading