Links of Hope

Links of Hope

When I was pregnant with Kiri, I shared with one doctor a secret. In my heart of hearts, I believe we will bring this baby home. I don’t like to say that aloud because I don’t want to appear arrogant and risk being punished for it. I lived almost every day with Kiri with trepidation. … Continue reading

This I Believe

This I Believe

This I believe: I am my daughter’s mother. I’ve always recognized that I live a much easier life than many. My native country endured a civil war, I was born amidst it, but I didn’t suffer through it. Instead, my existence—my incessant crying and hunger pangs—put others around me at risk. Still, I didn’t show … Continue reading

The Magic In Not Knowing

The Magic In Not Knowing

Even as an adult I asked mothers why they loved their children.  Their initial response was spiked with indignation.  Why wouldn’t I?  They hadn’t understood that my question was one of sincerity.  Sure, a parent loves her child.  But why?  I loved (and still do) our deceased dog Pluto because of his innocent, tender face … Continue reading

August Has Come

August Has Come

I fear August.  I fear the slyness and swiftness with which it moves.  I fear the beautiful ring of its name: ancient, robust, wise.  And I fear the force with which it departs. I feel rattled.  Unsteady.  Restless. My breaths are short and hurried. My belly quivers. I lost both of my children in the … Continue reading